Why I Do I Feel Uncomfortable with BDSM? Final Part – Sub-Drop and Conclusion

Sub-drop just sounds downright terrifying to me. If it was something that just happened from time to time after particularly intense scenes it probably wouldn’t worry me, but after reading some people’s stories it seems that some people experience it after every session – surely that can’t be good for someone’s well-being? Or is just part-and-parcel of the experience? I suppose I could compare it to someone who gets bad hangovers all the time but still drink loads (although I find those people much more annoying – it really is just unhealthy). It seems to be to appear self-destructive to do something that makes you feel horrible every time you do it just because it feels good at the time. In my mind it seems comparable to someone how does drugs and feels awful about it whenever they come down from a high. But maybe it’s not as bad as I make it out to be – it may be a much more positive experience than it appears to be, it certainly has the potential to be. Definitely an area to explore further.

Again I feel if I were in this position I would fall into a low mood and get stuck there for a long time. My long-suffering partner probably wouldn’t be able to do much about it either – I’m definitely too much work.

 

 

So these are the area I feel I need to look into more and refine my thoughts and opinions on them. While this is largely about addressing my own issues it’d be absolutely fantastic if any of this helps people to come to terms with their own feelings on BDSM. Again feel free to comment on anything here – feel free to disagree with anything and to debate and create a good and healthy conversation. This is my beginning stance on all these issues – it’ll be very interesting to look back here in a year or two and see if much has changed. Feel a bit of a mentalist reading half the stuff written there – hopefully I won’t get committed by anyone haha.

One thing I do find myself wondering is how different I would feel if I had more experience myself – is it that my general nervousness is sexual situations what spurs on most of my negative feelings? It could be that imagining my own discomfort in certain situations is what triggers this negativity rather than really being so uncomfortable with the concepts themselves. Of course it could also be with experience that I surprise myself – I may feel right now that pain would be a turn-off but it could feel completely different if I tried it. Is there anyone here who thought they’d really hate something but actually turned out to really enjoy it when they gave it a go? Or maybe the other way round – something sounded like a lot of fun but it wasn’t so much when you tried it?

I also feel that at times I’m overly-cautious, both with my feelings towards something and how I think something should be approached. Maybe I over-think things and make a bigger deal out of them than needs be. When I feel negative about a certain aspect it often makes me feel much more positive when I imagine taking part in it with a partner who has my absolute trust – maybe it’s trust issues more than anything else? I feel it’s going to take a long time to really discover where all of this stems from and even longer to be able to overcome it – but nothing that was worth doing was ever easy!

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About buhocurioso

I'm someone with little experience with sex or BDSM, however I would like to explore these areas and try to overcome any negative feelings I have towards them. I want to be comfortable with my own skin and also understand what different aspects in these areas mean to others.

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