Why I Do I Feel Uncomfortable with BDSM? Part 2 – Punishment

When I say punishment here, I mean activities that a Dom uses to encourage ‘bad behaviour.’ It’s something that neither the Dom or their sub should enjoy. I’m finding it really difficult to come to terms with this concept – to me it seems damaging to someone’s inner-strength and just generally to their character. I believe if something wants to change something about themselves or their life, it should be done because they want to do it – not because they’re scared that if they don’t do it, they’ll be punished. I think it’s a bad habit for anyone in any situation – like hitting a child when they’re naughty, I don’t think it’s an appropriate way to deal with negative behaviours. How can you simply tell someone not to do something? If they don’t feel motivated to do it in themselves then how do they not grow resentful and being forced to do it? I think there must be some alternative viewpoint that I haven’t considered.

I do think it will always bother me though. It goes against one of my strongest moral instincts. I can perhaps understand infliction pain on someone to give them pleasure or to fulfil some other need – but I simply cannot bring myself to justify what seems to be to be quite a medieval process.

I remember when I was younger, my mum put this show on the TV – ‘Brat Camp’ or something like that. In it they took kids whose parents couldn’t cope with their bad behaviour anymore and put them in a sort of camp. The rules were that if the kids misbehaved in some way or didn’t do as they were told, they’d have privileges taken away from them. Among these were things like being allowed to take showers, which quite frankly I don’t consider a privilege that people should be able to give or take at leisure. I remember I was so angry that I had to leave the room and go to my bed to cry. Even at such a young age I felt strongly enough to be really furious about it – it just felt like injustice and an immature way to deal with what were something fairly big problems.

So perhaps I’ll never come to terms with this because it’s something I’m so emotionally vested in. I would like the be able to approach the subject without experiencing such negative emotions though – I don’t like feeling close to tears every time I read something along these lines (so much for not being very emotional). Simply avoiding it wouldn’t help, I’d just end up dwelling on it and getting upset later on. Maybe I can set this as a sort of goal as something I can aim to work on.

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About buhocurioso

I'm someone with little experience with sex or BDSM, however I would like to explore these areas and try to overcome any negative feelings I have towards them. I want to be comfortable with my own skin and also understand what different aspects in these areas mean to others.

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