Why I Do I Feel Uncomfortable with BDSM? Part 6 – Pushing Limits

I often find it hard reading about people’s personal experiences in this area. When I read them it just across to me as highly unpleasant. However it’s something that you really would have to try before being able to take a stance on it – this in itself in worrying as by the time you realise it’s not for you a lot of damage could already have been inflicted. I assume that a Dom would have enough sense to venture carefully into this area though if a sub had never experienced it and very carefully monitor them to determine if they’re not getting what they need out of it.

I feel a little distressed when I hear people talking about how much they hated a certain experience, but felt empowered afterwards – or vice versa. For some reason it makes me think of people who cut themselves to make themselves feel good. I don’t know why but I just can’t shake that image from my mind, the whole process just seems very self-destructive. Where’s the line between something being unpleasant in a way that is enjoyed and unpleasant in a way that isn’t? I just worry about people who appear to really need to endure unpleasant experiences in order to feel good – I really struggle to disassociate that with some form of self-loathing or mental disorder. These feelings are probably unfounded, I’m not sure why I feel them so strongly – perhaps because I simply can’t identify with them. If I were in that situation my biggest worry would be that I grow resentful of my partner for pushing me, which would be completely unfair.

It all just sounds a little too traumatic for me. I suppose some people just want to see how far they can go in the same way an athlete tries to see how far they can push themselves in their training. A lot of people talk about an endorphin rush in both these situations – I wonder if some people are more likely to experience this than others? That’s one thing to look up on the ol’ Neuroscience course. I have to say I don’t relate to the athletes either – exercise makes me downright grotty, it’s just something I do for the sake of my health. Maybe some people just really get something out of the danger whilst I prefer a more relaxed atmosphere, but who knows – with experience that may change. It could be my misgivings about sex in general that affect me so strongly in this particular area.

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About buhocurioso

I'm someone with little experience with sex or BDSM, however I would like to explore these areas and try to overcome any negative feelings I have towards them. I want to be comfortable with my own skin and also understand what different aspects in these areas mean to others.

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