Being A Virgin

Why does everyone associate virginity with religiousness and a sort of holier-than-thou attitude? I realise that many people choose to remain virgins until marriage for religious reasons, and good for them for sticking to their guns. However it seems that people think that every last virgin over the age of (at most) 18 is some sort of religious zealot, either that or they think that they consider their virginity to be some sort of grand gift to give to someone.

But I don’t feel that way. Not to say that I want to just have sex with anyone, I wouldn’t still be a virgin if that were the case. However I’m not holding out for ‘the one’ either – I just want someone I can connect with one some level, I would want a boyfriend/girlfriend girlfriend/girlfriend relationship, but the minute I sleep with someone I’m not gonna become the clingy girl from Hell (something a lot of guys seem to worry about concerning sleeping with a virgin – we’re not all Overly-Attached Girlfriend!).


I don’t feel like my first time is a huge gift that I should bestow upon some worthy suitor either – my trust however is a gift, the sex just happens to accompany that. But I feel that trust is a gift in any context – I feel privileged if my friend trusts me with a secret, or if I’m the one that’s called for help if someone goes wrong.  Maybe that’s why I’m starting to identify a bit more with the submissive attitude – because when it comes down to it, isn’t it all about giving your trust?

Just a bit sick of this attitude, it makes it difficult to admit to a guy/girl that I’m still a virgin for the fear that they’ll run to the hills! 19’s not too old though – just might become a problem if I still haven’t had sex by the time I’m in my mid-twenties (not that I’m going to let that fear push me into some emotionless one-night stand – not against them, but they don’t do anything for me. That doesn’t mean it’s marriage or nothing either though! Hell not even sure I want to get married, I’m not particularly religious and I don’t understand the notion of needing a big ceremony to prove you’re in love with someone. Would like to wear a pretty dress though. Also cake).

Also I want to give a bit of a shout-out to a Tumblr blog I found – the Gentle Dom. It really speaks to me, it’s practically a guide to my ideal relationship – the sub/Dom relationship but without a lot of the scariness that might put off newcomers. It’s written with inexperience subs in mind, so if you’re like me you might like to give it a look – I actually read the entire 50+ pages in one sitting! (Too much time on my hands).

Here it is – – give it a gander! This page is particularly useful –


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About buhocurioso

I'm someone with little experience with sex or BDSM, however I would like to explore these areas and try to overcome any negative feelings I have towards them. I want to be comfortable with my own skin and also understand what different aspects in these areas mean to others.

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