Sensual BDSM

After searching high and low through the many, many, many groups on Fetlife, I found a few that were perfect for me – the ones for ‘sensual players.’ Sensual BDSM has a lot less of the aggression that I initially found off-putting in BDSM, instead Doms control their subs more subtlely (is that even a word?) through their actions, words and presence. Commands are given but not harshly and aspects of pain and humiliation are applied as both parties see fit – usually to a lesser degree than more extreme forms of BDSM.

Instead sensual BDSM focuses on things such as sensation play, orgasm control, light pain, mental and pleasure domination and teasing. Mental domination is achieved through a huge understanding of the sub rather than using physical or psychological intimidation, the Dom needs to get into their sub’s head to see what makes them tick so that they can provide an intense sense whilst keeping them feeling safe and secure in their hands. It focuses more on making the sub want to submit rather than forcing them to submit (within the agreed parameters).

I think a large part of the appeal of this to me is the level of understanding required between the partners for it to actually work. It also has less of the extreme stuff that seems so scary to a beginner. It also seems perhaps more evenly balanced – rather than having a sub who does things for the pleasure of serving their Dom without necessarily expecting much back in sensual BDSM the focus can be on either the sub or Dom at any time whilst still having elements of the former (I got a bit mixed up there, not quite sure how well I explained it but I tried).

Anyway it feels like I’m edging closer towards my own niche here, much less of a ‘I might try this one day,’ to more of a ‘I REALLY want to give this a go.’ I’ve wondered about looking around for local munches but I might be too chicken to go, I wonder if I could convince one of my friends to tag along? I’d like to talk to people in person and get their views, there’s only so much you can get from writing.

Since I’ve had a few soft days to get me back in a good mood I’m going to try and go back to my previous posts where I talked about what made me uncomfortable and try to tackle something there. I feel all recharged and ready to go!

 

Sites that helped me with this post:

http://voices.yahoo.com/bdsm-101-bdsm-without-sm-erotic-art-sensual-1812299.html?cat=7 – Sensual play, what is it?

https://fetlife.com/groups/9924/group_posts/2199294 – Romantic ravishment and why it’s awesome.

https://fetlife.com/groups/9924/group_posts/2233369 – The sensual Dom – a dying breed? (Read all the comments, there’s some really good stuff there).

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About buhocurioso

I'm someone with little experience with sex or BDSM, however I would like to explore these areas and try to overcome any negative feelings I have towards them. I want to be comfortable with my own skin and also understand what different aspects in these areas mean to others.

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