Decided to take a few days out to chill the hell out, but I return! I’ve been looking at the searches which lead up to my blog and I’ve seen that quite a few people have been led here looking for ‘sensual BDSM.’ I figure that this is something quite a few vanilla couples might be interested in, but there’s not too many sites to get information on it. Because of this I’m gonna look at it a bit more, put up a few ideas for those interested and then they can decided where to take it from there.
Anyway, as I said in my previous post on BDSM, sensual BDSM is a sort-of lighter alternative to ‘normal’ BDSM (or what most people perceive as normal BDSM anyway). It has more of a focus on sensation play and less on impact play and things like pain, humiliation, degradation, punishment, etc. Although, all of these can be used to the degree that the people involved want to involve them, but usually the focus is much more on the sensations.
This alternative is good for people wanting to bridge the gap between more ‘extreme’ BDSM or for people who never want to go beyond light pain or sensation play. The popular media often likes to portray BDSM as though it’s always as extreme as possible but this is rarely true in reality, it’s helpful to remember that, like anything else in life, BDSM is what you make of it. It’s just a label with very fuzzy edges, so it doesn’t really mean much of anything.
So saying that, what kind of activities do fall under the umbrella of ‘sensual BDSM?’
– Hot Wax
– Hot oil massages
– Waternberg wheels/pin wheels (can be painful, but not necessarily, it all depends on the amount of pressure used)
– Fur/velvet/suede floggers
– Different textures e.g. Silk, fur, sandpaper (again, think about the amount of pressure used)
– Brushes (think paintbrushes, make-up brushes, oil brush, etc.)
– Be imaginative! Take a look around the house and see what you can find!
Adding a blindfold and/or headphones playing soft music can help the person receiving the sensations to focus on their sense of touch.
Can be painful/uncomfortable, but only if that’s what’s desired. Can also be as restrictive as is wanted, movement can actually be fairly restricted without much discomfort. It can also be done for aesthetic purposes, such as in Japanese Shibari.
Erotic Body Painting/Drawing
Can be done with markers, paint, cosmetics, any number of things.
– Body scrubs
– Body oils/creams
– Face masks
I don’t mean using an actual mirror (although that could be fun…). I mean when you mirror your partner’s actions so you feel the same things at the same time.
Tantric sex is a very slow, meditative approach to sex. It incorporates breathing techniques, erotic massages and a generally sensual approach to sexual acts.
This is pleasure to the point of pain, it usually takes a variety of different sensations to be achieved, but it relies heavily on how the individual reacts to various sensations.
Think on the level of a deep tissue massage, although it can always be tailored to suit the individual. Things like soft floggings and spankings, biting, pinching, etc.
The main difference here between sensual D/s and ‘normal’ D/s is that the submissive’s compliance is usually obtained through positive rather than negative reinforcement. Pain as a punishment isn’t normally used; the submissive simply wants to do as their Dom commands rather than fearing consequences if they don’t (although non-painful punishments may be used).
These are only a few of the things you could try, and I’ll say again, tailor it to suit your needs. If you want to include pain you can, if you don’t want D/s you don’t need it, just take the parts you want and use them. Hopefully this has given you some ideas though!
Pages that helped me with this post:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sensation_play_(BDSM) – Wikipedia page on sensation play
http://www.peter-masters.com/wiki/index.php/Sensation_play – More on sensation play, also talks about sensory deprivation