20th Birthday and Not Feeling So Good

Well my 20th birthday has been and gone, it was okay, but for some reason I just couldn’t get excited about it. I don’t know why, I just seem to feel really flat nowadays, like nothing at all’s really exciting anymore. I just don’t seem to feel like doing anything. I get into this ruts pretty often but it usually makes me feel a little better to get up and go do those things I can’t really be bothered doing, but even that’s not working anymore. Wondering if maybe now’s the time to go and see a doctor about it, I’m really worried (perhaps foolishly) that I’m going to go there and I’ll be told that there’s nothing really wrong and to just stop whining about it. I think there’s probably quite a few people who feel that way. Anyway, in an attempt to maybe prove to myself I’ve been scouring the internet for lists and symptoms and maybe some quizzes that’d give me some kind of indication of where I stand (nothing the same as going to the doctor and getting diagnosed I know, but it was just for a general idea, and I tried to only use reputable sites that dealt specifically with depression/mental health issues). Anyway these are some of the results I got:


(from depressedtest.com)

Major Depression: High
Dysthymia: Moderate
Bipolar Disorder: Very High
Cyclothymia: Extremely High
Seasonal Affective Disorder: Very High
Postpartum Depression: N/A


(from Psych Central, also the Mayo Clinic test I believe)

You scored a total of  54

Based upon your responses to this depression quiz, you appear to be suffering from a severe depression. People who have answered similarly to you typically qualify for a diagnosis of major depression and have sought professional treatment for this disorder.


Got to admit, both of those results are pretty worrying – things in there I hadn’t even considered. But of course, they are just online quizzes, need to see a doctor to see if there really is a problem. I really don’t know how to approach it though, and you also have to ring up for appointments and the receptionist always asks why you’re making the appointment and I don’t really want to tell her (being silly again but I really hate talking about that sort of thing over the phone).

It’s all a bit shit really.




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About buhocurioso

I'm someone with little experience with sex or BDSM, however I would like to explore these areas and try to overcome any negative feelings I have towards them. I want to be comfortable with my own skin and also understand what different aspects in these areas mean to others.

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